i know, i know. warnings part two ... really? maybe instead of "warnings for my future husband" the post should be entitled "tips for scaring away any potential suitors."
but nonetheless, i've thought of a few more warnings that i want to add to the previous warnings list. and yes it's completely necessary because as i discussed with my dear friend g-dubs this past sunday over lunch, one day i'll make my future husband sign these things just so we're clear that they aren't surprises. as he explained to me, half of marriages end in divorce while the other half end in death (something i thought was quite hysterical ... not the death part, but the entire expression). however, with my meek attempts at transparency, hopefully my (somewhere in the distant future) marriage will end once we're old and shriveled all up like raisins.
here are three additional warnings:
1. i don't always make my bed in the morning. HOWEVER, i absolutely without a doubt must have my bed made prior to getting in it at night. this often results in me making the bed around midnight only to throw the covers back a few minutes later, but still. the bed must be made, but not necessarily at the crack of dawn.
2. apparently i have a lot of nervous energy. this may result in me tearing up napkins or the pieces of paper that hold silverware together at restaurants. i don't consciously think of it as nervous energy. i just know my six-year-old sized hands need to be occupied (but obviously not with touching food since we all know that doesn't happen). i promise to not leave these little pieces of paper trash all over the table in hopes to not embarrass you in front of the waiters.
3. i know that my beloved YA novels are works of fiction, but if i bring up katniss, dumbledore, or princess mia as if we just hung out at the mall, just go with it (the same goes for attending midnight movie premieres for these book adaptations -- i'll go see a blood and guts snoozefest with you if you go with me). the quickest way for the backside of my hand to meet your cute little cheek is to remind me that these are "just books" or that the characters "aren't real" ... they're real to me so just step back.
these three little additions to my list might appear silly, but i promise you this, darling husband of mine: if you cut me some slack in these areas, you'll never hear me complain about that toilet seat that i'm sure you'll leave up. you learn to embrace the awkwardness that consumes my life and i'll embrace the fact that i should always check the seat pre-bathroom usage (or get used to swimming in the toilet bowl).
deal? good.
