not only did i thoroughly enjoy the post, but it started my brain spinning on some warnings for my own future husband. and yes, contrary to my current boyfriendless state (thanks for the reminder, grandma), i do believe that somewhere out there my future husband is waiting. obviously waiting very patiently, but nonetheless, waiting. and possibly in a mail-order form, but we'll cross that terrifying bridge if (not when, but IF) we come to it.
so here, my fine blog readers, are some of my warnings for my future husband:
[disclaimer: i said some because goodness knows i've left things out ... whether it was so i don't appear as quirky as i am, or because i've forgotten about it, i just think we should be clear: these are just a sampling of my warnings]
1. i'm going to dress my dog up no matter how many times you remind me she's not a doll. i know she's not a doll. i'm not that dumb. however, nothing in the fact that she is a dog dictates without a doubt that she can't be dressed up. especially if she likes it. which she does. but you don't have to like it. in fact, feel free to tease me about it. but just know that every holiday (and some non-holidays) will involve an outfit.
2. when i make a to-do list that includes things like "get dressed" and "go to sleep," don't feel pressure to do the same. in fact, please don't. too many to-do lists around the house will surely overwhelm me. however, i get a certain amount of satisfaction (translation: a tremendous amount) from crossing these menial tasks off my list so please just let me be.
3. when we go to the beach, you're going to sleep on the couch if you don't brush your feet off before getting in the bed. sand in my bed makes for a beyond grumpy megan and trust me, you don't want that. no one does. so do the world a favor and wipe your feet ... or pack a spare blanket for the couch.
4. diet pepsi is not (let me repeat: NOT) the same as diet coke no matter how similar they look. you don't believe me? let me replace your next beer with some interestingly colored urine and then try to tell me that something that looks the same is equal in pleasure.
5. i'm going to call my mother every day, sometimes twice a day (sorry mom, but you know it's true). and if we get into a fight (regardless of whose fault it was), i'm probably going to have to call my mom again. however, rest assured that she knows better than anyone that i am irrational and overly dramatic. these phone calls will only help your case that you married a lunatic.
6. i'm going to ask dumb questions about most everything you watch, but that's only because i care. if you put up with my dumb questions (or cease complaining when i'd rather go shopping), i won't complain when you don't want to watch jersey shore, the bachelor, or sex and the city reruns. i do ask, however, that when you see that i'm crying while watching my romcoms, you sit down and pretend to care. or at the very least throw me the tissue box.
the end. now it's your turn -- what warnings do you have for your future (or current) husband?
