blown away.

it's official: i'm an occasional blogger at best, a sporadic blogger at worst.  however, over the past month (specifically the past week) i have been blown away by the kindness and generosity all around me and i absolutely have to share it with you.

i'm not ashamed to admit that at times (or many times) with my new job i've felt overwhelmed.  i'm a little baby teacher and i often lack the confidence needed to execute everything i want to execute.  it's been quite a test of patience to develop long term goals -- i'm such an instant gratification type person that i've really had to take a step back and pace my tasks.

this past week was my FIRST BOOK FAIR EVER (besides the last one i went to when i was 10 years old) and i SURVIVED.  there were 100000 things i could've done better, but there were at least a couple things that i did right.  i'm calling it a success, even if my financial form isn't filled out just yet.  it was one of those mental successes.  i had to get through it to know that i could get through it.

and speaking of getting through it, i could never in a million years have survived without the generosity of my volunteers (and my dad who was manipulated into spending TWO ENTIRE DAYS with me at my book fair).  these are some of the most selfless people i have ever met and i am truly blown away by their kindness.  they gave up hours upon hours to sit at cash registers, straighten books, or offer a warm smile.  there were also so many teachers (who are BEYOND busy with their own things) that stopped by to lend a hand during planning periods, pass along words of encouragement, or just remind me to breathe (or share a halloween cookie with me).  you can't find those types of people these days.

and besides that, my precious college roommate, who happened to get married this past weekend, took the time out of her week-before-the-wedding-crazy-time to send me words of encouragement about the book fair.  (and side note: the wedding was amazing, no one tripped down the aisle, AND i got to spin around in circles in a field during photographs ... my kind of party!)

so what have i learned the past week (and month)?  there's good all around me.  good moments, good learning experiences, and most importantly, good people.  i'm a blessed baby teacher.

public school rocks.

by no means is this actually going to be some kind of detailed and intelligent post on how i came from almost a completely public education and i'm doing alright (except that sometimes i can't boil eggs and i occasionally forget to feed my dog).

however, i've started a brand-spanking-new public school job and the kiddies come in one week and i'm stoked.  like really stoked.  because the way i see it, i have 9-10ish months to convince each of the kiddies i meet that they are rockstars.  they are rockstar readers, learners, researchers, athletes, siblings, spellers, attendance-takers, noise monitors, etc.  whatever it is they want to do, they can beast it.

and because my blog serves as some self-expression-time-capsule-place-where-i-can-hopefully-find-things-later, i'm posting john green's video about public schools starting up again.  amazing.

it's okay to want to run away.

despite the slightly emo feel this post's title may have, i promise it isn't going to be a whine fest.  in fact, it's going to be the opposite of a whine fest.  i'm not exactly sure what that term would be, but whatever it is, it's this.

these past two-ish weeks have been all kinds of crazy busy with everything due all at the same time and not enough waking hours to complete it all (hence the reason i stayed up working all night thursday night...well at least until 4am when the royal wedding coverage started which forced me to stop doing homework and start wishing i was a princess).  anyways, it's been a hectic and stressful last couple of days, but i can FINALLY breathe.

the last month projects - DONE!

that's right, 3rd semester of graduate school. we are so dunzo. don't call, text, tweet, facebook, linkedin (i don't even understand what that is but i still get invites to "link" with people...something i don't think i want to do ever because it sounds a tad strange), myspace (do people even still use that?), etc. me.  for realz.  this is one of those breakups where it's good riddance. i will burn your pictures (or books - gasp! i know, the librarian shouldn't burn books), stop factoring your importance into my decisions, and truly feel better because i am no longer tied to you (at least not until august when i start writing that pesky little master's paper thingamajig).

naturally, as assignments pile up and the stress gets to the pimple-breakout stage, it's easy to think about running away from graduate school and becoming a bartender (which after my librarian days are up, i think i'll try).  but then i go to the public library and i realize why i can't give up.  i just like it that much.  if you don't get that feeling or you don't think you've ever met a librarian that actually feels that way, you've obviously never been to my library.  you lose in the game of library love.

despite this, i still think it's okay to want to run away.  i never ran away as a child because let's be honest, i was terrified of the dark (still true), i don't think i'd survive very long in the wild (duh), and i don't believe in sweating so i wouldn't walk very far before i threw in the towel (true forever).  i have this vivid memory of my sister running away one time to the stop sign down the road.  i remember being petrified, although to be honest this entire memory could be distorted due to the fact that i was probably 7ish and i suffered (and continue to suffer) from an overactive imagination.  this is what i remember thinking: i didn't know how she was going to make it on her own.  she was all of 9 and woodmere loop was a loooong loop.  yikes!  i'm pretty sure she just packed socks and panties and i remember wanting to sneak her food in the garage.  i don't think she even made it half an hour sitting at that stop sign before she realized whatever chore she had, punishment she was given, or tv show she couldn't watch didn't cancel out the importance of a toilet and flintstones vitamins.  who knows what parts of that occurred in real life or as a chapter in the book i will one day publish about two sisters and their adventures around the country, but that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

and it's not just people that think about running away.  my mom recently sent me a video of ali trying to do it.  granted she and jennifer were actually playing with a ball in the ocean, but it really looks like she's swimming out to sea (she should really be more careful because she can't possibly know about all the creepy ocean creatures that will bite her toes in that murky water).  if dogs want to run away sometimes and so do their human counterparts, we must all be onto something.   if i had run away from grad school i'd not only have a lot of classes to retake, but i'd also owe my parents a lot of money.  i think we should copy ali (in the video below) and even if we think it'll be better out in that big scary ocean, turn around and come back.  it's so much better when you do!

sometimes a girl deserves to pamper herself

by all rational accounts, i should be completely consumed by my research methods test that will be occurring, whether i'm prepared or not, in roughly 32 hours.  eh, call it the 3rd semester grad student blues or call it flying by the seat of my pants, but either way i am truly underwhelmed.  i mean, yes, i will in fact study tomorrow as i have been for quite a few hours today.  but you know what?  in the end i'm banking on the fact that for 24 years i have yet to fail a test (excluding the one bubble test in 2nd grade when i skipped a line on roughly the 6th question therefore making the remainder of my answers wrong, and also that daily edit grammar quiz in 5th grade...because it was stupid) and i don't think i'll be starting now.  i mean, maybe that's overly confident, but i just have this feeling.  i'll let you know how it plays out.

anyways, because i'm feeling rather apathetic towards the whole studying thing, i've decided to list 5 things related to pampering that i love (some of which i realized today, others of which i've known but wanted to add to the list anyways):

3 of the 5! sorry, no haircut picture...too creepy, even for me.

1.  it is amazing how changing your nail polish from a dark, moody purple to an eye-popping neon pink will improve your mood.  it's almost an instant fix.

2.  it is much easier to throw your recently showered hair into a braid and just go with it.  i mean, let's get real.  what are the chances that you're going to meet your husband in LIBRARY SCHOOL?  yeah, exactly.

3.  cooling eye masks are god's gift to stressed graduate students.  they should be used daily, potentially multiple times a day depending on the time in the semester (ex: finals=3 times a day).  

4.  self-tanner WITH GLITTER is the bee's knees.  i mean, not only does it give you that instant satisfaction because you are no longer vampire-pale, but it adds a little shimmer to your life.  and who doesn't need shimmer?  it's the easiest way to instantly become part of the cullen family, minus the icky pale factor and the drinking of blood.

5.  a haircut can truly, and i mean truly, transform a person.  considering that i haven't cut my hair in like 9 months (sorry horselike mane, but there really is no need when i slap you in a ponytail or braid every day), i didn't learn this from my own haircut.  but let's just say the haircut i recently saw made me stop and stare as if seeing jonathan taylor thomas through my lovesick six year old eyes.  it is amazing how with a few clips of the scissors, a rebel-without-a-cause can be transformed into a take-him-to-grandma's-for-christmas-dinner type man.  well done, anonymous hairstylist, well done.  women everywhere are thanking you for uncovering that masterpiece of a man.   

it is never possible to have too many sticky notes

i've often wondered if i should buy stock in sticky notes.  i'm not a real big believer in the stock market or investing my money into something that isn't going to give me instant gratification (don't tell my dad or grandpa - they might make me go to another investment talk with our financial advisor), but seriously - i think i personally keep the company afloat.  don't believe me?  check it out for yourself below.

[note: this picture is far from staged as is evident by the completely embarrassing disarray that is my desk. hope you enjoy your glimpse into the life of a graduate student with final projects due within the week.]

it looks neater when i'm not up to my ears in projects.

to count there are 24 active sticky notes on my desk (25 if you count the registration sticky note that i can't bring myself to take down due to it being my last registration ever ... if you're confused, you'll understand after reading this), 10 packs of sticky notes available for use (not including general notepads - only sticky backs made the cut), and 4 decorative sticky note rectangle packs that are good for marking places in books.

don't get me wrong. i'm a fan of using scrap paper, reusing old notes, and various other earth friendly ways to make notes (except the sticky notes you can put on your computer screen - that doesn't do it for me), but you obviously wouldn't know it due to my sticky note obsession.  maybe to counteract my addiction in the eyes of mother earth i'll shorten my showers by a minute.  that has got to improve my earth karma, right?

anyways, all of these notes have important things on them.  it's not like my desk is filled with notes that say "you can do it!" or "the world is your oyster!" or any other variety of encouraging phrases to keep me going through the bleakness that is grad school.  no, far from it.  the sticky notes include such things as semester-long assignment reminders, important dates for the fall semester for planning purposes (ie: first day of class, fall break), impending deadlines, phone numbers of people to call in case of emergency, passwords to all of the different accounts i've been forced to get in grad school, etc.  obviously, all of the notes are important.

while i'm sure some, if not most, of you disagree, i don't think it's ever possible to have too many sticky notes.  sometimes i have so many that i run out of room and sticky notes get covered and forgotten, but they always find their way back to the top as i complete tasks.  and once on top, they continue to serve as the beacon of light directing me to my next assignment.

i owe my successful (almost) completion of grad school to sticky notes.  or maybe they owe me a ceo position for keeping them in business all these years.

registration day is my christmas.

okay, so technically this isn't something i've learned today.  i've known that class registration day has taken the place of christmas in the favorite-holiday-race since i started college back in '05.  i didn't care much for the blistering hot weather as i walked around campus with strangers at orientation, and i could have easily done without the forced awkwardness that was the orientation mixer (which, for the record, struck me as a glorified middle school dance with people in bigger, more sexually charged bodies).  no thank you.  but the day we got to sit at the computers and register...that made all that other garbage worth it.

i'd been planning out potential schedules for days, watching the system closely to see which classes had the fewest openings so i knew what to prioritize when the gods smiled upon me and finally let me register.  even with the crappy registration system (that has recently been overhauled by a still crappy, although arguably less crappy, system) moving at snail-speed, i was still done with the whole process in a matter of minutes.  while the rest of my peers sat waiting for the system to respond as they searched for classes (oh, step one...amateurs!), i packed up my stuff and waltzed right out of the computer lab, fall schedule complete.  granted, i would in fact change my schedule an estimated 53 times within the remaining days of summer, but still - the first schedule was done.

registration day happens twice a year (which is obviously superior to christmas which only happens once a year) and i always begin my hypothetical schedules, color-coded for efficiency, as soon as the registrar releases the potential course offerings a few months ahead of the actual day.  most people begin getting the christmas spirit in november-ish when the radios forget there are other things besides christmas tunes, but the registration spirit lasts for much longer.  another reason registration day is the superior holiday.

when we did switch to the new registration system, i was admittedly a little pissed.  not only are there some very basic flaws, but it allows for one-stop-registration: you put all of your classes into a shopping cart and click "enroll"... and that's it.  no waiting for the system to respond to see if you got the class, no searching frantically for another class when the one spot that was left isn't open because too many people were trying to register at the same time...nothing.  for the registration obsessed (population: one...me), this "more efficient system" really takes the wind out of your sails.

but what it can't do is stop me from making hypothetical schedules.  you never know when a class you had in your shopping cart will come back with the error message that says it couldn't be enrolled in because it is full (something i secretly, or not-so-secretly, wish for with every click of the glorious enroll button).

today is my last registration day as a student.  i've had many wonderful registration days throughout my 6ish years of college, and today i'll click "enroll" for the last time (okay, let's be honest...i'll probably try to enroll in extra things just so i can continuously tweak the schedule).  and yes, it is true that the only two requirements i have left to complete are my internship and thesis which are registered for me through the office, but that won't stop me from finding another course to add to my schedule so that i too can partake in celebrating registration day (the office really shouldn't have all the fun).

it'll remain to be seen if i actually follow through with attending the random class i select today once the fall rolls around, but dangit i'm going to put it in my shopping cart and enroll the heck out of it.  and i'm going to love it.