making a difference: librarian style

sometimes the smallest things make the largest difference. i've heard that so many times, but over the past year or so this is something that i have truly come to believe.  without this belief, i don't think i'd be able to really be happy at any job.

i might not know the difference i'm making each day and i guess to be fair, i might never know if i really did make a difference ... but in my occasional moment of optimism, i like to believe it's happening.

if you ever get to the point where you also question the difference you might be making (when my point happens, my mother always reminds me ... hence the blogpost), remind yourself of the starfish story (youtube video below - thanks mama gill for the link!).

it's a story i'd heard before at camp cheerio as a camper and counselor, but thinking about it as an adult was a different experience altogether. it transformed from being a sweet tale of doing good things for others (side note: i didn't always get the meaning of motivational stories when i was younger) to being something that really inspired me.

as a teen librarian, will i find the cure for cancer? no. will i sign bills into law that will give equal rights to all? no. will i figure out a way to make republicans, democrats, penguins, and llamas all get along? to borrow an expression from my dear friend cher horowitz from clueless, as if.

but i'm still making a difference. i don't exactly know what difference it is and i'll probably never see it, but just like the wind, i know it's there. (too much sap? apologies.)

[excuse the semi-strange photos of the short shorts and old people.]

also, just for the record, i won't cure cancer, make laws, or figure out how to make political world peace. but you can bet your bottom dollar that i can find you a book about it. 

enough reading my ramblings. go find your starfish and give it a toss.

speaking teenage is trickier than you think.

i was never good at spanish.  there's no point even denying it.  in fact, sophomore year of high school i was actually told i was bad at it and that despite testing well, i'd never get it.  inspiring, right?

but let's be honest.  it's the truth.  i took italian when i started college and lasted a semester where again, i could test the mess out of the language.  but speaking it?  as if.

however, in order to graduate from unc, i had to take something.  so i signed up for the party language of portuguese with all the athletes and hunkered down.  again ... testing?  no problem.  speaking?  well let's just say it's a good thing i partnered up for ALL speaking presentations with a guy majoring in foreign languages.  this girl knows how to play it, kids.

anyways, my newest foreign language is teenage.  and it has got to be the hardest of them all.  i'm not even very good at speaking adult most days since i find i'm too old to be a teenager but i'm easily bored by adult conversations.  but teenage?  holy cow.

for almost four weeks i've been working on learning teenage, but sad as it is, i don't know that i'm much closer to mastering the language.  i don't even think i'd test well on this one.

in fact, today a group of boys were listening to my classroom expectations (score one for listening!) and when i said 'does that sound like something we can handle?' i got three responses of 'word.'

i just stared at them in complete confusion as i didn't know what the heck they were talking about.  word?  did they misunderstand a word i said?  were they asking me to repeat one of my words?  were they mumbling and i couldn't actually hear them say "yes sweet teacher lady we DO think we can handle this"?

no, none of these were correct.  they actually said word.  and they meant it.

after school i asked their teacher about speaking teenage boy and he gave me a few inside tips and informed me that word meant they agreed and understood.  GOOD TO KNOW.  there needs to be a manual on this somewhere.

so as any good librarian would, i did my research when i came home.  here's what word actually means in teeange (in case you, much like myself, were uninformed of the language of teenage):

[thanks to http://www.urbandictionary.com for the example below]

word
	a phrase originally meaning: a) to agree with b) without a doubt c) true Meaning A: R: You know your momma's gonna have a fit when she finds that you burned down the house. D: Word.

good to know, right?  i'm sure i'll add to my teenage vocabulary the longer i practice, but i think i'll start with word.

and i challenge you to learn a little teenage.  word.

don't judge a book by its cover. for realz.

in order to prepare (if that's possible?) for my upcoming job, i've decided to take a hiatus from reading all of candace bushnell's books (if you don't know her stuff, you should -- http://www.candacebushnell.com/) and focus on things i might be able to recommend to kids.

not that sex and the city and lipstick jungle aren't worthy of recommendations ... because they so are.  but maybe just not to tweens.  and just for the record, i'm not thinking of that as censorship.  i'm just thinking of it as responsible librarianship.  and while i'm being honest about what i think, i'm not so sure some of the things in those books are completely appropriate for adults, but whatever. still good.

don't judge me because i haven't read some of
the INSANELY popular ones. better late than never, right?

anyways, i went to the bookstore (i know ... not the library. but i didn't want to wait for the books because i'm the world's most impatient library patron) and picked up some books that were on a middle grades list ... and some others just because i thought they should be on the list, even if they weren't.  and after reading the backs of the books and realizing they were more often than not FAR from my genre of choice, i decided i needed a solid princess diaries type book.  essentially, fancy nancy in middle school.  

after reading the back of the books and scrutinizing the covers (shameful, i know), i settled on a megan-type book about a girl who wants to fit in and has two gorgeous and famous parents.  i thought it was a slam dunk book (which basically means an easy read about an ugly duckling who eventually becomes sassy and beautiful just like her rockstar parents).  

OMG PEOPLE I WAS SO WRONG.

now that's not to say it wasn't a good book.  it was.  i read it almost straight through because it was so gripping, but holy cow was i off base.  and if you don't want it spoiled, stop reading here.

the stars and happy writing on
the cover?  TRICKS.

okay you've continued reading, so i'm about to spoil.  so the girl i thought was an ugly duckling?  well, she does have famous, beautiful parents that make her feel slightly inadequate, and when she moves to a new school she has all the same insecurities that new kids have.  as she's struggling to fit in with the popular crowd that likes her for her parents' fame, her mom gets cancer (and dies), her dad relapses with his alcoholism and causes a terrible wreck which sends him to jail and then alcohol rehab, and hannah (the main character) ... well she decides she's not pretty enough or skinny enough to be in the popular crowd AND deal with all this crap from life so she starts throwing up.  

and i'm not just saying it's alluded to in the book.  full out details on her binge eating and purging are all over those pages.  which of course makes it real and carries such a huge impact upon the reader, but WOW.  not princess diaries chick lit like i was expecting.  

but again -- it was a good book.  maybe a little graphic and detailed for someone with as weak a stomach as myself, but hannah's struggle with fitting in and dealing with all that stuff at once?  that's real life, folks.  

albeit she was dealing with EVERYTHING at once, but still ... the girl was able to be real about her "issues" (as she called them), learn to be happy again and love herself, and of course ... snag a true winner of a boyfriend in the end.

[side note: while some books tend to gloss over the details, this doesn't leave much to the imagination.  and as startling as that was, from someone with no background on how haunting bulimia and alcoholism can be, this stuff seemed legit.  there wasn't a complete rainbows-and-sunflower ending (although she did snag that boyfriend), but the struggle wasn't forgotten, instead being stated that she was going to slip and it was going to be hard -- but she would be able to learn to cope.] 

so all in all, am i glad i read it?  definitely.  but was there anything in the entire story i expected?  only the boyfriend.  

so be careful, kids.  don't judge a book by its cover (or its title for that matter).  but if you do, like i did, read it with an open mind.  and try your hardest to find the good.